How am I supposed to feel?
by Soaplover05
Summary: You've seen the reunion of Stella and Leanne but what you haven't seen is it from another persons point of view. In this one shot, you will see the version through the eyes of Eva, Stella's youngest daughter, and her thoughts and feelings towards the reunion of her mum the sister she never knew about. What will it make her do?


How am I supposed to feel ?

I sit at the kitchen table watching them play happy families. It makes me feel sick. They are just sitting there as if I don't exist, as if I don't have feelings. How could they?

My so called ex boyfriend and my so called sister who I have only just met, all cosied up on the sofa. Am I meant to just sit back and pretend everything is fine now? As if I have completely forgot about all the pain and misery they put me through. He was the love of my life, still is. Only he used me to get back with my sister Leanne. They used to be married long before I turned up but I'm convinced they were having an affair behind my back. How could she do this to me.

And then she comes in larger than life, with not a care in the world. So happy she's got her 'precious Lea' back and not giving any thought about me. I'm still her daughter too, although she doesn't act like it. Ever since we have arrived in this dump all I ever hear is "Oh Eva stop being horrible to your sister" or "Eva don't be such a drama queen". It makes me sick, she makes me sick.

Then Leanne gives me that sly smile as if to say 'they're mine now'. And all of a sudden I feel invisible and worthless. How can I stay here for any longer watching everyone playing happy families as if I don't even exist. "Eva you will get used to this soon and then we will be one big happy family". Mum told me this the night I found out about Leanne. Yeah right. It's been over a year now and everyone seems to be moving on with they're lives... except me.

I need to go. I need to get out of the dump and on the next flight to anywhere.

I slowly walk up the creaky staircase of the Rover's Return and make my way into my small bedroom. Of course I had to move out the bigger one when Leanne came to stay but thats fine I'm second best. I make a quick phonecall to my dad in Spain. Mum doesn't know I'm back in contact with him. I ask him if I can go over there and live with him. He says I can and I begin to pack my things.

I look through old photos of me and my mum from when I was growing up. We were so happy then. How did I not even realise she was keeping a secret from me. I bet I was born as a substitute for Leanne as she thought she would never see her again. Hence my name 'Eva Leigh'. For all I know my existence is based solely on my mum's love for Leanne, the baby she walked out on. All I now know is that I need to leave and leave soon.

I find a piece of paper in my drawer and I start to write Mum a letter. I have to. I can't bring myself to say goodbye to her. Why would she care anyway? She has Leanne now, all she ever wanted.

I slowly start to write the letter, my hand trembling, causing the ink to smudge. I tell her about how she has made me feel this last year and how I can't deal with her anymore. I go on to thank her for all the memories we share and for bringing me up to be the strong independant young woman I am today.

Thats a lie though. I am not strong and independant quite the opposite really. It's just a front I put on so people think I'm just like my mum. I'm just a young girl who wants to feel loved by her mum once again. By this time tears are escaping my eyes and falling down my cheeks, staining the paper in the process.

I tell her that I'm going to live with my dad and I probably won't be returning. I sign the letter with;

"I love you mum, Eva x"

I stand up and take a good look at myself in the mirror. Looking back I see a petrified little girl, not wanting to leave. But then I remember what my gran said to me when I was a little girl.

"The world is your oyster Eva Price, but only if you get out and do something about it, nothing will be handed to you on a silver platter."

I pull my long golden hair into a messy bun and re-apply my make-up so I don't look like I have been crying.

I slowly take one look around my bedroom, switch the light off and I close the door. I manage to fight back the tears as I carry my large suitcase down the stairs. Trying not to make any noise.

I look into the living room. Nick must have left and mum and Leanne are on the sofa. You can hear they're roars of laughter a mile off. I smile as tears fall down my face.

"At least she's happy", I think to myself.

I place the letter on the telephone table by the window, so mum can see it. I open the back door and make my way outside. The cold air hurts my puffy eyes. I look a right mess.

I scurry down the back garden and into the waiting cab. I tell the driver to take me to the airport. I look around Weatherfield, my home for the last year. It has caused me nothing but heartbreak but somehow I feel sad to be leaving. I look into the Rover's Return window and see my mum reading the letter. Tears are spilling down her face. She looks out into the back garden and sees the cab I'm in.

She pushes past Leanne and runs out into the garden. I tell the driver to wait and I get out of the cab. She runs up to me as fast as her tiny legs can take her and throws her arms around me, begging me to stay. She tells me she's sorry for everything and she will make it up to me. I tell her that I forgive her for everything but I need to go.

She falls onto the hard concrete ground as I get back into the cab and I tell the driver to go. She looks like her heart is breaking as we begin to drive off. Leanne goes upto her, picks her up and attempts to take her inside.

I can still hear the wails of mum shouting my name as we leave Weatherfield. I take one last look back, my face stained with tears which for some reason have stopped falling. I think about my mum. At least she has Leanne now. I smile to myself as I think about my fabulous new life in Spain.

"Goodbye Weatherfield" I say to myself as we turn the corner, leaving the cobbled street behind us. Weatherfield is my past. I am now looking forward to my future and the exciting new chapters in my life. Afterall as my gran said to me all those years ago, I am Eva Price and the world is my oyster.


End file.
